I think Bill Crosby patented the term "Kids say the darndest things" — and then made multiple TV shows with cute little kids saying all sorts of bizarre things we adults think are cute or funny or both.
My monkey could have her very own show like that. I should really give ol’ Bill a call. Whether by genes or by nature, my daughter has the gift of the gab and in her need for talking, she often comes out with some real gems or just brand-new words.
I know she is absolutely going to hate me when she is older and she finds this on the Internet someday, but I just have to share this with my readers. I really did just about pee myself laughing when she came out with this.
So I was closing up the shop one day this week and she was doddling as usual. I think doddling is quite common when you are four so I don’t usually get too frustrated with her.
But I really wanted to run a couple of errands, time was ticking, so I finally said, "Come on now, what is taking you so long?" After all, she just had to get her coat and her shoes and she went back into my office to find her dear old bunny.
She finally pops out. "Sorry, Mommy, I was taking so long. I had a twedgie I had to get out."
Oh, I snickered to myself, she’s so cute! "A wedgie, you mean."
"No, Mommy, I mean a twedgie."
By this time I had loaded her into her car seat and had started to drive out of the parking lot.
"OK, I’m not sure what you mean. What’s a twedgie? Are you sure you don’t mean wedgie?"
What really got me was her matter-of-fact tone.
"Mommy, no. A wedgie is when your panties get stuck in your bum. A twedgie is when your panties get stuck in your girl parts. I had a twedgie."
I had to pull over. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Luckily my daughter is very forgiving and didn’t mind me laughing at her "stuck panties" terminology.
I asked her where she came up with this and she said that’s "just what it’s called." She delighted in amusing me and couldn’t wait to tell her father the same thing.
Well, you can imagine the look on the better half’s face. But that’s another story.
Kyla Henderson is a local freelance journalist, business owner and mommy. Her column runs every week in the Community News.
Republished from the Brandon Sun print edition April 26, 2012