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My Vic Toews conspiracy theory

By: Grant Hamilton

Monday, Mar. 26, 2012 at 2:05 PM | Comments: 0

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY GRANT HAMILTON / BRANDON SUN Enlarge Image

I'm going to presume that you are up-to-date on Vic Toews and modern TV culture. If not, *spoilers ahead* because I think I've uncovered a weird coincidence that can't be explained -- except, perhaps, by conspiracy.

Now, I haven't worked it all out yet, but bear with me:

Vic Toews, the MP for Provencher, is currently embroiled in the "@Vikileaks30" kerfuffle.
The hit AMC show "Mad Men" is about to start its fifth season.

What's the connection? There are several:

Toews infamously said in Parliament that if you didn't support his internet surveillance bill, then you stood "with the child pornographers." He appeared to be angry at the time. He was definitely angry later, when divorce details began spilling all over the Internet, thanks.
You want to talk about angry guys? You mean, "Mad Men"?
Toews came to Brandon -- specifically to Maple Leaf -- where he announced $4.5 million in federal funding for the hog-processing plants here and in Winnipeg. Political wags may call that a lot of "pork" but it's also going to mean a lot of ham.
"Mad Men" features a character, Don Draper, played by actor Jon Hamm.
It was revealed (although it was kind of an open secret) that Toews divorced his wife after hooking up with his childrens' much-younger babysitter.
This is exactly what the Don Draper did in "Man Men"! (Except Draper, if I recall correctly, was polite enough to get the divorce first.)

So, now what? Well, this is the tricky part of all conspiracy theories.

I have drawn some of the threads out for you -- perhaps my readers can find even more dastardly connections between the former justice minister and the Emmy-winning show -- but I fear I am too close to the trees to see the forest.

What does it mean?

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