SOS: Save Our Strand

FILE PHOTO Enlarge Image

The interior of the Strand Theatre on 10th Street in downtown Brandon in 2009.

I'm not going to re-hash the back-and-forth tug-of-war that's been happening in recent days about the Strand Theatre project. If you're reading this post, I'm going to assume you're interested enough in it that you've been following the story.

I will say that I support the Strand Project.

I think Brandon does a piss-poor job of guarding its heritage, that there's too much disdain for arts and culture in this town, and that anything built here that's not barebones cheap gets simply shot down on "business" reasons.

And by the way, I think "being cheap" is an insult, not a point of pride.

But I know that things have to be paid for somehow. And while I think government funds are an appropriate way to pay for public goods, there's no reason the Strand Project can't carry some of the burden.

So, in the interests of helping get this project off the ground, here are a few unconventional ideas I've had that might aid in either fundraising for the opening, or keeping it going after it's done.

They're all from the So-Crazy-It-Just-Might-Work department:

1. Sun rises

About 18 months ago, it was nearly a done deal for the Brandon Sun to buy the old Convergys building, and move in there. That fell through, but why can't the Sun move to 10th Street instead?

There's plenty of room on the second floor for editorial and advertising. There's even a vacant lot, conveniently next door, where we could build a pull-through loading dock for circulation.

It might be a little less space than we currently have, but we could also open, say, a little News Cafe on the main floor, and have some reporters or advertising reps work out of there. It'd be a great connection to the community, and there'd be a paying tenant to keep the Strand lights on.

Also, why not a Sun series of performing artists? We have a great news team and sports department, but I think there's an opportunity for us to ramp up our entertainment and culture section.

2. Take a gamble

Yes, I'm adamantly opposed to a casino -- particularly a downtown casino. But why not roll the dice if it could save the Strand?

If we're honest, we'd admit that even the nicest casino planned for Brandon would feature just a few classic table games, and the bulk of the floor space (and profits) would be devoted to racks of VLTs. Most of the money would come from senior citizen bus tours or local addicts dropping loonies into machines, not from dapper high-rollers placing chips.

That's depressing. In fact, underneath (and despite) the glitzy surface, casinos are all pretty much depressing.

So instead of the factory-floor setting of row-upon-row of slot machines — which there isn't room for in the Strand anyway, not if you wanted performance space, too — why not focus on the high-end experience?

Brandon could install professional, high-quality tables, and cater to a higher-calibre of gambler. We'd rely less on money-sucking machines and soulless addicts, and instead profit from more discerning tourists, and more locals on a casual trip. We'd offer only table games like roulette, craps and baccarat — we'd be home to an "artisinal" casino, selling not just the chance at riches, but a more "authentic" experience that has been lost by casino sprawl all around us.

3. Something brewing

Brewpub. The province made it legal. Brandon needs one. I still think the old firehall would be a great location, but if no one's stepping up to buy that building, this would be a great way to make rent at the Strand. There's plenty of room.

4. If you drink, take a cab

And together, that makes cabaret!

Seriously, selling booze is a license to print money. And the Strand, even it was only half full of paying tenants, and only used on weekends for shows, should be able to acquire a cabaret license to sell liquor.

That wouldn't require the investment of a full brewpub, and would still be a no-brainer way to keep the doors open.

(UPDATE: I'm told that a cabaret license was already part of the original business plan. Woot!)

5. Let's get physical

The federal government is appealing it to the Supreme Court, but a recent ruling has opened the door to bawdy houses in Canada.

Yes, prostitution.

If you're so willing to embrace one side of Sin City (gambling) why not welcome the other half of the money-making equation? I can guarantee you that this would definitely put downtown Brandon's "entertainment district" on the map.

Anyone else got any ideas?

And yes, I realize that none of these will help raise any cold, hard cash right this minute -- cash that's important to get any endeavour off the ground -- but any of these options would bring a continual cash flow into the Strand, and wouldn't likely need to take up the whole building.

Any of them would solve the "business plan" issue. Cash would cascade in. Heck, with some of my ideas, they could even pay back any government grants they got for startup.

Sure, they're a wee bit over-the-top, but they're all varying degrees of plausible. None of them is downright impossible — it's not like I'm proposing a private moon base or anything.

And really, the idea here is to point out that a multi-use building downtown doesn't have to be filled with all artsy-fartsy galleries, like some of the Strand opponents allege.

This is a great opportunity, and it pains me that Brandon is so full of people who are willing to sabotage it.

Now, I understand that a lot of the criticism has come from people who are legitiately concerned that the Strand will be a money pit. I don't happen to share that concern. But it seems like people who claim to be worried about the "business plan" are instead attacking it just to score cheap political points.

And that's sickening.

I support the Strand. I support it the way I support the Keystone Centre -- as a multi-purpose facility, slammed by opponents in the beginning, that will bring a ton of spinoff benefits to the city even if it never turns a dime of profit in its life.

But here's where the Strand differs from the Keystone -- or from a big box power centre. Sure, it's smaller. But it's impact won't be any less. You see, it's cultural.

No matter what its balance sheet, the true profit that the Strand would bring to Brandon won't be counted in dollars or cents. It will be measured in music notes and paintings.

It might not make the city any wealthier -- but we'd sure as hell be richer for it.