Breakfast Buzz: Dan lies on a Bible -- a crime?

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The Big Brother television show on CBS follows a group of strangers living together in a house outfitted with cameras and microphones recording their every move 24 hours a day.

One by one, the houseguests vote each other out of the house, and at the end of three months, the last remaining houseguest wins $500,000. This is season 14, and while I admit I watched the first season start to finish, I’ve paid little attention to the others … that is, until this season.

Part of family time at our house is for the four of us to sit down and watch these people backstab, lie and cheat, while building alliances, and inflicting drama. I have to admit, it’s a guilty pleasure, and really can be compared to sitting down with your kids each week to eat a pail of ice cream together, stopping only to put more chocolate chips, candy, gummy bears, and anything else bad for you into the bowl.

There is nothing nutritious about Big Brother. It is junk food for the brain. But it does give you insight into human nature. Last week, viewers witnessed one of the biggest moves in the game’s history. A hockey analogy is being down 3 games to 1 in a Stanley Cup playoff series, and not only come back to win 4-3, you make it to the final!

"Dan" was down and out, ready to be voted out of the game, void of options and was facing certain defeat. But in one show, he masterminded a turnaround that shocked everyone who has ever watched the program. He "threw a funeral" for himself where he talked kindly of all his housemates, and then trash talked his closest ally to the shock and dismay of the rest of the cast. Then he went to his enemy to befriend, while betraying his other houseguests, swearing on a Bible, a necklace from his grandfather and his wedding ring that he and his enemy would carry each other to the end of the game. This not only saved Dan, but he then became Head of Household.

The equivalent of going from zero to hero in 60 minutes, leaving everyone is shock at the utter manipulation and brilliance of this school teacher. (Not sure if I want him to teach my kids. This guy is a "mind game" master.)

Since I was rooting for Dan’s enemy and now friend, Frank, I was excited by this turn of events, only to be crushed when Dan backstabbed Frank, and recanted on his pledge. I felt producers should have taken Dan off the show, since he swore on a Bible. In any court of law, that would have easily been perjury. The rules state: any crime committed or the imminent threat of a crime or violence will require the offending player to leave the house. Dan should leave Big Brother for swearing on a Bible and then changing his mind.

I thought I would have some allies on facebook:

• Cassie Poole: "True, but it was the most brilliant scheme I have ever seen. If he can make it to the final two I don’t know how the jury won’t vote for him to win. He deserves it if he can make it that far."

• Sharon Ward: "Dan is an evil genius! Frank sealed his fate when he passed up the opportunity to get rid of Dan when he had the chance ... every time!"

• Grant Hamilton (yes brewpub GH): "I don't watch BB, but it's not perjury unless he lied to the court. And lying to the court is perjury, Bible or no. I could lie on a stack of Bibles all day long and it ain't no thang."

(But Grant, US President Johnson was "sworn in" putting his hand on a Bible on Air Force One. Dan "swore allegiance" to Frank on a Bible. Dan committed a crime methinks. Grrrr.)

• Stephanie Yaskow: "No crime committed, I think Frank played really dumb. Who gives up playing for HOH for 2 weeks so close to the end? I think he was maybe a bit conceited to think he could pull that off. I loved this season and don't care who wins, having said that though deep down would love to see Dan win! Go Dan Go!"

• Joni Backlund: "Dan won't win. Especially if he's up against Ian in final 2. He just looks like a hypocrite and has now proved that his word means nothing."

• Lana Karpyk & Krista Stowe:" GO Team Ian!"

• Cheryl Mitchler Hastings: "Go Ian!!!! Glad frank is gone and waiting for Dan to leave!! Too many put there morals on everyone else. If you don't like what Dan did, then don't watch BB, because lying is what it's about!"

• Cindy Watt: "It is just a game people! How the game is played is up to the people playing it!! Go Jenn-city!"

• Valerie Graham McCallum: "It's nobody’s fault but Franks that he got voted out. He shouldn't have let Dan come off the block last week, or made all of the other mistakes he made (hooking up with Boogie for one). It's a game, and he played it wrong. I'm not a fan of Dan, but I'm a huge fan of the game, and this is by far the best season in a really long time."

In the end, little support for me to have Dan tossed. Caution, if you watch next season, there are some choking truths.

FIVE things I’ve learned from Big Brother:

• Good liars win. Honest players go home. Unlike other games, being misleading and lying are two common activities people regularly use to get ahead. Writing checks you can’t cash? No problem. Blatant liar? As long as it’s done in an effort for self gain, it’s all part of the game. Wholesome isn’t it?

• It’s not nearly as exciting as it appears. If you watch the online stream they look bored. Then you get bored. These people have spent the summer in a home roughly four times the size of the average bungalow in Brandon, and with a yard twice the size. Not exactly like being locked away on the "South Fork" ranch in Dallas with wide open space. That plus no TV, newspaper or internet. Even people in jail get more entertainment.

• People willing to take an entire summer off to make ZERO money. Seriously? It’s one thing to take four or even five weeks off, but wow, and entire summer and more for no money? Cool if you win the $500,000 grand prize in the game, but is there a second, third or fourth prize of any cash? Who has a job other than Dan that can take four months off? (He’s a teacher but I’m thinking this game has COST him money if he’s responsible for hiring a sub and he likely is.)

• Only one duffel bag of clothing for three months in a house? These players are voted off, and are asked to come into a studio audience for a post game interview, carrying a duffle bag for luggage. Seriously? Three months in a house on national TV and one bag? If you told my wife she would be on national TV for a weekend she would need a moving truck for the clothing and accessories, let alone a summer. Where’s the stuff, CBS?

• Julie Chen thinks she rules of the house. She’s the host, and is on "The Talk". But she secretly dreams of ordering the players around like her own personal puppies, and they compliment and sweet talk her like she is the queen bee. The only thing more fascinating was the hundreds of hats and shirts with slogans on them Mike Boogie wore kissing up to her.

Enjoy the final days of BB14 and I guess I too will move to Team Ian.

Joke this Week

A nun was taking a shower one day and she heard the door bell ring, she yelled "Who is it?" And the person ringing the door bell yelled, "I'm the blind man."

So the nun got out of the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel, she didn't bother putting a towel around herself because the person behind the door was blind.

She opened the door and said, "What do you want?"

The man looked her up and down and answered, "I'm here to put up your new blinds."

Birthdays

• Jenny Wabash
• Gloria Gabrielle
• Susan Kerbis
• Murray Tennant
• Chantelle Hotain
• Tannis Bolduc
• Justina Faith Cooper
• Erin Malfait
• Keith Hobson
• Darby Hinton
• Michael Glintborg

Republished from the Brandon Sun print edition September 15, 2012