Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and before we get to the money spent and some advice from Westman moms, I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to my wife Tracy, who has been a mom for more than 15 years now, my mom Lana in Erickson, Tracy’s mom Shirley in Sandy Lake and my grandma Ada in Erickson.
Those two lines saved me $25 in cards, so thank-you, Brandon Sun. Of course, I’m kidding.
But the cash spent on Mom this weekend is no joke.
Between brunch, gift cards, gadgets, beauty supplies and jewelry, most of us will spend around $163 on Mother’s Day stuff, according to a survey from the National Retail Federation.
And don’t fall for the "oh, don’t get me anything" line. This is not true. She is expecting something, anything. But do not listen to her and simply give her a hug and a homemade card with macaroni glued to it.
Make something, do something, or buy her something.
So, what sort of goodies will mom get tomorrow?
Eighty-one per cent will say Happy Mother’s Day with a greeting card, while 66 per cent gift mom with her favourite flowers and 33 per cent of us will buy clothing items.
Other top gifts this year include time at the spa, jewelry, books, music, housewares or gardening tools. Thirteen per cent of us have enough green to drop on electronics, such as a tablet, camera or smartphone. Three-quarters of us will take mom out for brunch or dinner, and 43 per cent of those shopping for mom this year will buy her a gift card.
Although most of us will spend just under $163 on mom, the retail federation says 25- to 34-year-old consumers will spend more on their mothers. Those moms will cash in on stuff worth an average of $217.
Kids over 35 are tight, I guess (with so many bills to pay, kids in sports, etc.) while those under 25 don’t have that kinda cash yet.
My grandma Carrie would always say: "Your health is your wealth. As long as you’re healthy, you can always make more money."
And while the saying is certainly true, it is not the only saying passed down from grandma to grandson or mother to daughter. In fact, there is plenty of advice to go around when you ask people about some of the "stuff mom used to say."
My mom always said: "Good things come to those who wait," and "Someday I hope you have kids that are just like you."
Then I asked you what wise words and wise cracks did your mom give you:
Heather Caswell — "I think your eyes are bigger than your stomach." Also "I’ll turn this car around!"
Tracey Szucki — "You wanna run away? Here, let me pack your bags for ya."
Shelley Zimmer Polding — "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you" Truth is ... it didn’t.
Ashley Fisher — "Close the door! I’m not paying to heat the whole city!"
Christie R. Chase — "Don’t tell a fib or your eyes will turn green."
Raymond Shepherd — "If you make faces, it will stay that way."
Bobbie Wright — "When you’re 18, you can do whatever you want."
Alana Marie Levesque — My mom always told me: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out again" — always when I was being sassy.
Cyndi King — Our mom always told us we had to do things (hug her or kiss her or tell her we love her in front of our friends) because it was in the "contract".
Wendy Medicine — My mom always told me I was never too old to get a lecture from her when I did something wrong.
Eileen K. H. Moody — "Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry." Yup, that’s what she would say to me when I couldn’t get my way.
Nicole Bolack — "Money doesn’t grow on trees" whenever we bugged her for stuff at the store.
Wendy Lynn Hiebert — "Don’t look the gift horse in the mouth. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch."
Dawn Unger — "Look with your eyes, not with your hands." Shopping with my momma is awesome.
Jillian Vanderheiden — We’d exclaim, "It’s not fair!" In return, she’d reply "The snot fair? The snot fair’s in town?! We should go!"
Tina E. Lathlin — "One day you will have daughters and then you will know."
Sam Lynn — Growing up, I’d always ask, "Why?" and her response? "Because I said so." Funny, I say the exact words to my children now.
Arlene Marie — My husband went to school and did a project on his "famous aunt" — Aunt Jamima — because his mom told him she was his aunt.
Angela Roulette — As the mother of five daughters, whenever they would ask me for something, I would ask them: "When you gonna pay me back because I’m still waiting for your rent from nine months in the womb — plus interest!"
Erin Hennessy — "Your cruising for a bruising."
Kaitlin Addison — Her favourite quote from Dr. Phil: "Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy?"
Kelsey Patterson — I called my mom last week to tell her that I had a job interview. Her advice for the interview was: "Dress nice, and don’t have sparkly boobs."
Thanks, Kelsey’s mom. My next interview, I will make sure not to have sparkly boobs.
So much wisdom, so little time. For those listed whose moms are still talking to them after our little online confession, make sure you give her a big hug and kiss and something special.
And don’t forget, when you bring her breakfast in bed tomorrow, bring the iPad. She deserves to crush candy as much as she wants tomorrow.
JOKE THIS WEEK
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks: "Why are some of your hairs white, mom?"
Her mother replied: "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked: "Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?"
Kim Tetzlaff Monaghan
Dalton Tyson Patterson
Diana Marie Corrigan
Republished from the Brandon Sun print edition May 10, 2014