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Brandon Sun - PRINT EDITION

Morning Mess: Love is for KIDS

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A BIG THANKS to everyone who helped to raise some money for Samaritan House this week with the Star-FM/Brandon Sun Gourmet Cake Auction.

With help from Sun sales and marketing director Glen Parker, and the paper’s graphics department, we were able to showcase an assortment of gourmet cakes and some bonus prizes, raising money for our local food bank, and playing "match-maker" by uniting some sweet cakes with some sweethearts.

Thursday the cakes were picked up or delivered to winning bidders, with some cakes coming with gift certificates, jewellery and even concert tickets to Bon Jovi (for our ugly but delicious Bon Jovi bacon chocolate bonanza cake).

Did you have a sweet Valentine’s Day Thursday?

According to a new survey from SeekingArrangement.com, when it comes to spending money on your wife or girlfriend, not all women are created equal. Single women did slightly better than married women when it came to extravagant gifts this year. Single guys spent an average of $257 taking out a woman they had just met, and with married men concentrating more on presents than dinner — they forked over a little less than $200 for their wives on Valentine’s Day.

Those in a "committed relationship" seem to win the bronze.

Being "not new" to the love game and "not yet married" shows the average take on Thursday for this group was $180 worth presents. But it’s not about the money, the presents, the cards or the flowers. After all, Manitobans are the worst province in the country of which to celebrate. It seems we just forget the whole thing altogether. Just over 54 per cent of Manitobans even remembered Thursday was Valentine’s Day.

Those in Quebec like to keep things hot. Apparently almost 70 per cent of people in that province did something romantic on Thursday.

Here’s hoping you did something memorable but not expensive for Valentine’s Day this year.

One of my favourite childhood memories was getting those cheesy Valentines put into my specially decorated Kleenex box in early years elementary school. Scooby-Doo, Star Wars, Superman, and Buck Rogers. Those movies and TV shows had very little to do with love or romance, but it was sure fun to give and get those cards over the years. Elementary school is so innocent. Its care free. Worry free. Especially when it comes to love.

Unless someone asks them for the facts according to an eight-year-old:

• "Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." — John, age 9

• "I’m in favour of love as long as it doesn’t happen when Sponge Bob is on television." — Jill, age 6

• "One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love there is still going to be a lot of bills." — Ava, age 8

• "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, I’ll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced." — Anita, age 9

• "Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." — Angie, age 8

• "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." — Dave, age 8

How people in love act?

• "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." — Brad, age 8

• "It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are — on fire." — Christine, age 9

• "See if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love." — John, age 8

• "Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." — Craig, age 6

How do you make people fall in love with you?

• "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." — Del, age 6

• "Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs... and don't worry if their parents are right there." — Manuel, age 7

• "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." — Alonzo, age 9

• "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." — Dean, age 9

Good advice about love:

• "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." — Dick, age 7

• "Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." — Erin, age 8

• "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you don’t take out the garbage." — Mark, age 8

• "Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch." — Natalie, age 9

If you wrote a song, what would be a good title of a love ballad to sing to your loved one?

• "You Are My Girlfriend Even Though You Also Know My Sister." — Noah, age 8

• "I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I’m With My Friends." — Bob, age 7

• "How Do I Love You When You’re Always Picking Your Nose?" — Arnold, age 9

• "I Got Your Curly Hair and Your iPad On My Mind." — Sharon, age 8

• "Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I’m Willing To Forget You Are One." — Will, age 7

Well, here’s hoping you had a great Valentine’s Day. If not, I leave you with a word of warning. This weekend is the busiest weekend of the year for new sign-ups at Ashley Madison. What is Ashley Madison you ask? It’s a social network for people looking to cheat on their spouse. This is "The Facebook" of websites for cheaters. Speaking of which, I better "Google" the naughty list today. The site just released its second annual list of Canadian cities with the most cheaters. Simply curious is all. Maclean’s magazine most liveable cities? That’s a list we want to be on. Ashley Madison’s list? Uh, not so much.

JOKE THIS WEEK

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I’ll take him and him and him."

BIRTHDAYS

Connie Aitchison

Erin Prokopchuk-Norgan

Tammy Lee Lambourne

Marie Sorlie

Linda Douglas

Brenda Cook-Fisher

Ruby Nishimura

Bill Bucci

Taryn Stinson-Tuttle

Kim Morrison Cochrane

Jerry Winniski

Valerie Woloshen

Shan Buchanan

Amber Blair

Courtney Asselstine

Amanda Cleaver

Kerrie Tingey

Tricia Seaver Zander

Juiliette Brydon

Republished from the Brandon Sun print edition February 16, 2013

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A BIG THANKS to everyone who helped to raise some money for Samaritan House this week with the Star-FM/Brandon Sun Gourmet Cake Auction.

With help from Sun sales and marketing director Glen Parker, and the paper’s graphics department, we were able to showcase an assortment of gourmet cakes and some bonus prizes, raising money for our local food bank, and playing "match-maker" by uniting some sweet cakes with some sweethearts.

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A BIG THANKS to everyone who helped to raise some money for Samaritan House this week with the Star-FM/Brandon Sun Gourmet Cake Auction.

With help from Sun sales and marketing director Glen Parker, and the paper’s graphics department, we were able to showcase an assortment of gourmet cakes and some bonus prizes, raising money for our local food bank, and playing "match-maker" by uniting some sweet cakes with some sweethearts.

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