Look close at this week’s picture in my column. Up top you will see a picture of the logo that is on the pink T-shirts that will be for sale this weekend as part of the Pink the Rink Campaign with the Brandon Wheat Kings. More on that in a moment.
Next to the pink shirt is a pair of Amber’s pink pants, the subject of a giant debate held on the Morning Show last week. As Amber and I prepared to talk about Pink the Rink, the awesome fundraiser that it is, and the amazing jerseys that are part of this campaign, I commented to Amber, "you’re really getting into the spirit of this thing. You’ve even wore pink pants to work!" She looked at me with a scolding stare. How dare I comment on the colour of an item of clothing she was wearing and get the colour "wrong"?
It was not pink, but rather red. As you can plainly see by the picture I have enclosed, and if the printers at the Sun are working as they should, you can see how the two items are simply two shades of pink.
Why all this talk about pink in the first place?
"Pink the Rink" goes tonight when the Medicine Hat Tigers play the Wheat Kings at Westman.
Tonight is going to look like nothing you’ve seen before at Wheaties game. The players on the ice will be head to toe pink! Tonight players will wear special-edition "Pink the Rink" game jerseys.
Just like yesterday on the Morning Mess Show, tonight you will have the chance to bid on a few of the jerseys, while others will have a chance purchase raffle tickets at tonight’s game for two others to be drawn for at the game.
Yesterday morning we helped bring in some extra cash for the campaign by auctioning off the pink jersey to be worn by captain Ryan Pulock tonight. After tonight’s game I’m sure he will Febreeze it before you get it. All money raised from auctions, and the raffle will go to the Canadian Cancer Society. They will also have special "Pink the Rink" T-shirts for sale tonight. If you want to put in a "reserve" bid before the game tonight, just call the Canadian Cancer Society (Brandon office) at 204-571-2800 or toll free 1-888-857-6658.
But back to Amber’s pink pants.
Did you look closely at the picture?
Apparently they are red and not pink like I mentioned. This according to her and about 100 female Facebook friends.
It will come as no surprise to any woman who is mortified by her husband’s choice of clothes: the proof is in the science. The sexes see colours differently. Studies show male and female brains process colours differently. This means that if a man and woman look at an orange, it will appear redder to the man. Grass has more of a yellow tinge to a man, greener to a woman. And according to a study done by the University of New York, men also struggle with subtle differences in shades of yellow, green and blue. This must be why there are 50 Shades of Grey. A book obviously aimed at women, since they are the only species that could actually see 50 shades of grey.
This explains how some hardware store arguments begin over in the paint department. After all, statistically more men are colourblind than women. The study goes on to say all this can be explained by hormones. The nasty sex hormone testosterone likely affects how we process information taken in by the eye. The journal Biology of Sex Differences says women also have better hearing and a more acute sense of taste and smell.
I blame testosterone. You should too guys. This has clouded judgement, decision making, and now our vision. So where are we better?
Experiments show us to be particularly good at detecting fine detail in moving images — a trait that might have made our male ancestors good hunters.
So Amber has to put on the pink shirt and pants run as fast as she can five inches in front of my face in one giant pink blur for me to make a good colour assessment. That’s the missing link! And the reason why my wife could care less what kind of television we buy. HD 1080p for sure. After all, my eyesight is superior for those moving football images. And beer commercials. And football.
A moving assessment of Amber’s pinkness would make these people change their minds:
Diane DeMare: your pants are red.
Daina Guild: Red.
Missy Inkster: They are a deep red.
Betty Reykdal: Oh my gosh Tyler when I stand on one foot with both eyes mostly closed, moving the picture gently back and forth it almost works! Stick one finger in your left ear and yodel, only THEN are they the SAME COLOUR !
Dustin Shoemaker: I am going to say they are red but more importantly why isn't she wearing them!
Amber Vandale: AND my pants are on, my body, been there all morning!
Jennifer Boake: Just to add one more nail to the coffin RED
Lynda Demanski: Red
Joni Menzies: They're red. Definitely red.
Bev Preston: Red.
Amber Vandale: Everywhere I walk today people are shouting "RED" at me. Wonder why?
Tyson Swain: I’ll say pink just to make Tyler feel better. (Thanks Tyson!)
Sabrina Berard: RED!
Cynthia Fontaine: Red. Is Tyler colour blind?
Autumn Dawn: Depending on the lighting light, it looks red. Dark light would make it look pink. It just depends on the lighting.
Jodi Ann: you don’t stop at pink lights. Its red. And I’m NOT getting in a car with you until a eye test!
Kahn O'Leary: Definitely red. Sorry Tyler they are not pink.
Pink or red, the colour that really matters tonight is GREEN. Let’s get our and support the Wheat Kings tonight against Medicine Hat, and let’s support the Canadian Cancer Society with some GREEN, to help their fundraising efforts. If you aren’t successful in winning a pink game-worn jersey, make sure you buy one of the pink shirts they have for sale. And guys, while your wife has a better sense of sight, smell and taste, rest assured you will be better at watching that puck go into the net tonight. Just remember to keep your mouth shut and nod next time she asks you to go out a pick out paint for your living room.
JOKE THIS WEEK
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as "simple", so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blondes are "simple" and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
Savannah Anne Marie Malyon
Quinn Angela Quewezance
» Tyler Glen is a radio DJ on Star-FM. He writes a weekly column for the Brandon Sun.
Republished from the Brandon Sun print edition October 19, 2013