Wedding season is officially here — and oh, how they’ve changed.
Like many things in our day-to-day lives, social media proves once again that it not only enriches our sharing ability, but causes some concern when it comes to etiquette.
This summer Tracy and I will celebrate 20 years of marriage. When we got married, the Internet was just introduced. In fact, the day of our wedding, I had yet to be on the Internet.
It wasn’t until three months later that my boss in Prince Albert, Sask., took me into a back office where we sat on one of the radio station’s three computers to search for things on Yahoo on this new program called the Internet.
But my discovery of the world-wide web is another story for another day.
The bottom line is 20 years ago — heck, even 10 years ago — couples didn’t even worry about, let alone use things like Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.
And while there are growing privacy and etiquette concerns regarding social media at weddings and other important events in our lives, programs such as Skype are proving to be priceless.
Many brides and grooms are setting up Skype or Facetime tables for relatives who can’t attend but want to be part of the celebrations from start to finish.
So, Grandma is not feeling well, but wants to see who’s at the wedding, hear the speeches and watch the fist dance? Skype and Facetime not only allow her to watch, but we can see Grandma.
Uncle Ty, on his way to the bar, can stop and say hi and have a chat, and others can wave and she can wave back. Truly an incredible use of the iPad, or several, depending on how many people can’t make the wedding. (Just make sure kids are kept away, or Grandma gets disconnected and Angry Birds quickly replace Grandma.)
A recent David’s Bridal survey, "What’s on Brides’ Minds," asked brides to rank social media preferences during their nuptials.
Here’s what it said about today’s brides:
Don’t spoil the surprise
The survey showed most brides (62 per cent) agreed that bridesmaids should not post any photos of the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony. Some brides are actually asking people attending to take all the pictures they want, but please don’t post to social media until the following day, allowing time for the couple to put out the initial pictures.
Shut down the videos
About 32 per cent want guests to refrain from posting video content on YouTube and elsewhere — that is, unless the bride and groom and the bridal party dance to a Top 40 song down the aisle on their way to their vows. This gets them on the Ellen Show. Share all you want.
Wait your turn
Also ranking high, at 58 per cent, is the belief that brides and grooms should be the first to post a photo from the wedding. I’ve seen pictures of brides actually getting ready for the wedding being posted. And if the groom sees these? Isn’t there something in the rulebook about luck and seeing the bride before the wedding?
Don’t make it the #BestWeddingEver
About 26 per cent of brides prefer guests use a specially created hashtag on Twitter, should they post anything about the wedding. Most people use #bestweddingever, but instead maybe use #tracytyler1994. Oh, had they had Twitter back in the Dark Ages!
Sharing is caring
Only 22 per cent think the bride and groom should be the only ones to post photos from the wedding. As for our listeners, most feel if the MC requests pictures to only be posted the following day, those in attendance should respect the request, while others felt it was their invite, their phone, so they could take whatever picture they wanted to, to share with whomever they wanted to.
Jessica McLennan — If they don’t want to be on social media, they should not have to be. People need to ask before they post stuff like that.
Neil Dreilich — I think whatever the bride and groom ask, people should respect it.
Kayla Clement — I agree it should be the bride and the groom.
Alana Jayne Flannery — Leave your phone in your car. You are at a wedding.
Jennie Wilson — It’s a wedding, not a concert. Usually everyone at such an event knows the couple well so should have respect for their wishes
Megan Harms — I had too much other stuff on my mind on my wedding day than to think of logging onto FB. It was a fun surprise to see what others had experienced.
Michelle Brau — I have not had my wedding yet, and I would not like it if someone posted pictures on FB from my day without asking me. It’s about me and my soon-to-be husband, not everyone else. That is just not right. I think it’s all in respect.
Rachel Curtis — I never had a photographer at my wedding (small and simple), so the people who took pictures, I was happy that they posted them to Facebook. They did not need to ask. Then again, I’m not one to get mad over a silly thing like that.
Sadie McConnell — If it’s your phone and your business, leave your phone at home. It should be up to the bride and groom.
Krystal D Blackwell — I personally don’t see the big deal. Most photographers take at least a couple of days to a week before you get to see a sneak peek, and months before you get the disc. Many times guests will get different views and moments. Post away.
Mandee Nakonechny — Personally, a wedding isn’t a big deal but a baby announcement should be left to the parents.
Jennie Wilson — If the people at your wedding can’t respect a simple request, then they shouldn’t come. It’s not about them and what they want — plain and simple.
Cynthia Korman — I don’t think it’s about waiting for the photographer, it’s about letting the bride and groom post "We’re married!" first with a photo. It’s all about the social media. I think ‘my phone, my business’ is a pretty selfish attitude. If it’s a big deal to them, why not wait a day? Is that really going to ruin your social media standing?
Shandi Eros — I wouldn’t care if someone posted first at my wedding. As a bride, I’m not carrying a purse or anything to carry a phone around. But as for me attending someone else’s wedding as a guest, I would ask permission to post pics. Baby pics are more personal. At a wedding, it’s like "Oh I wanna see what her dress looks like." But the majority of your friends and family are already at your wedding to see that.
Leanne Eros — I agree, it’s nice for permission, but with a wedding it’s nice to see pictures from other peoples’ perspectives, so I don’t mind. I loved seeing pictures from my weekend wedding the next day.
Nicole Sharp — It all depends on the people. No one has the right to tell others what they feel is important or not. Personally, I wouldn’t care about pics of my wedding. I would encourage it. But I would be disheartened if someone posted pictures of my child doing the introduction before I could.
So if you’re planning a wedding this summer, it’s best you talk about the role social media will play in all aspects of your day.
Remember, in a public place almost anything goes, but in places like a church and your private reception, you control what goes on. Simply ask your minister to remind people about your wishes or concerns (if you have any) and likewise with your MC.
Speaking of which, I’m off to MC my nephew’s wedding now — so watch for the ‘selfies’.
Mélanie Marie Young
Karen Lightle Purvis
Marcus Van Deveire
JOKE THIS WEEK
A young couple were on their honeymoon.
The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub, saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now, how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed, saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I’ve got really bad breath? I’ve been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he’s lived with me for a week, he’s bound to find out. Now, how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I’ve a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Don’t tell me — you’ve eaten my socks."