I know I’ve stated in a previous column that I’m not that mushy of a mommy when it comes to cards and what-not. I may have to withdraw that statement.
Earlier in December I went to an information night on kindergarten. Yep, gulp, my sweet little baby girl is going into kindergarten come fall.
I admit the very thought of me walking her to school on her first day makes me a bit misty eyed and has since I started thinking about it when she was a baby. It always used to be a long way off, so I’d blame the mistiness on silly mom hormones or lack of sleep.
Now I’m sure those pregnancy hormones are no longer coursing through my body and if I’m lacking sleep now, it’s usually my fault and not my monkey’s. (Although now that I’ve said that out loud I’m sure she’ll be up five times tonight!)
But as I walked down the school’s hallway to the room where the meeting was held, I could feel the lump form in my throat and my eyes well up with tears. I stopped and took a deep breath and told myself I was being silly.
I sat through the meeting and didn’t cry, which was good, because nobody else did. I would have felt better though if there was at least one mom dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
I think what I’m having trouble with is not that my baby is no longer a baby. Sure she was a fantastic baby and I loved and adored almost every stage. She was cute and brilliantly happy.
She was a smart and inquisitive toddler, full of laughter and smiles and sometimes temper tantrums.
As a preschooler, she has been somewhat challenging at times, but I have enjoyed the smart little talks we have, the impromptu dance parties, the sitting in my lap as I read her a story, the falling asleep on my shoulder as I carry her from the car.
It’s all those little things that seem so mundane to anybody else that make each one of my days since she was born more interesting, more colourful, more imaginative, more fun and just more wonderful.
I suppose the lump in my throat is not because she is not a baby anymore, but that I will have to let go of her more on that first day of school, than the incremental amounts I do every day.
Soon she will have lots of friends who she wants to spend more time with, maybe she’ll be in the glee club or drama or on the school volley ball team and someday soon she’ll perhaps have a boyfriend.
Then before I know it she’ll be off to college and leave me and the better half alone and missing her terribly.
I know I’m being a bit silly, but really I think I’m not that far off. After all, it was only yesterday that she was a tiny baby snuggled in my arms and soon she’ll be graduating from high school.
Kyla Henderson is a local freelance journalist, business owner and mommy. Her column runs every week in the Community News.