Morning Mess — Eating pods? I mean, come on … seriously?

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/01/2018 (2998 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I admit, I did a lot of stupid things as a kid. I once took a dart from a dart gun, and licked the end of the suction cup and applied it to my head to see if it would stick. It did. And it prompted a trip to the ER since my parents could not get it off without ripping my forehead off.

Then there was the time I pretended to be Luke Skywalker, or Darth Vader, (which one doesn’t really matter). But I had to help my parents take some large old fluorescent light bulbs to the trash. Well, a sword fight with light bulbs does not end well. I didn’t know there was gas in those things!

And finally there was the time I got my head stuck between the legs of my mother’s piano. Her treasured piano. And her precious son’s head was stuck between two attached decorative wooden legs, and my head was not coming out. I remember my dad going to get a handsaw and my mom crying “please don’t. There must be another way! But if we have to, we have to. Just make sure he’s in the least amount of pain as possible.”

Of course I’m kidding and my dad didn’t need to use the saw on me or the piano. But the point I’m trying to make is “kids do some pretty stupid stuff.” But this latest trend is the kind of stupid that could get you killed. Now we’ve seen the ice bucket challenge, the “gallon challenge” and the “cinnamon challenge.”

But this latest fad online has some teens not only washing their mouth out with soap. They’re ingesting it. And we’re not talking about Irish Spring. We’re talking about those multi-coloured packets that really look like candy but aren’t. They’re the laundry pods used in washing machines across Westman, and indeed across North America. And the online pods “challenge” is raising alarms.

There are all kinds of videos posted online recently, of people finding different ways to eat the pods. They’ve been cutting them open to drink the liquid, cooking them up as pizza and even smoking them. Make no mistake: while teens may think it’s funny, a trip to the ER leading to death is not. Ingesting laundry pods can lead to vomiting, seizures, stomach burns, comas or even death. These constant online dares are getting out of hand.

You’re thinking it, so I’m going to say it: “who in the wide world of oatmeal for brains comes up with this stuff?” The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and the Canadian Pediatric Society both issued warnings to parents a few years ago about the liquid laundry-detergent packets. After all, the capsules are colourful, squishy and smell good. It’s the perfect combination to lure kids into being curious at best. And at the worst, eating them. And there’s no doubt, a “highly concentrated, toxic detergent” can cause harm.

In Canada, more than 100 cases have been reported in pediatric emergency departments between 2012 and 2015, according to the Canadian Pediatric Society. In 2016, researchers at Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children found there were 75 detergent-exposure cases between 2009 and 2014 in Canada. Of these, 40 cases were associated with pods and 35 with traditional detergent exposures. But so far, there have been no official reports of injury due to the recent challenge, THANK the “laundry soap Lord!”

In 2015, the Onion published a satirical op-ed piece from the perspective of a toddler who wanted to eat them. Last year, College Humor published a video titled “Don’t Eat the Laundry Pods. (Seriously. They’re Poison.).” It showed a college student researching the dangers of eating or breaking open the packets, and then devouring them. He ended up on an ambulance stretcher. A Tide spokesperson says the trendy packets are only meant for cleaning, to be used for laundry as an alternative to powder or liquid detergent.

A creative Tumblr user posted a recipe for edible Tide Pods that has received a lot of attention. Yes, you read that right. She made real food to look like the pods that have the potential to kill. The not-so-simple recipe calls for unflavoured gelatin, condensed milk, water, coloured Jell-O and moon-shaped pods to make them look like the real thing. Proctor & Gamble Company was smart enough to nip the project quickly, reporting the use of its registered trademark without permission to Tumblr. And while it may seem funny to make real food that replicates something that can kill you, unfortunately not everyone is smart enough to know the difference, and that difference could be life and death.

As one person put it, “if you want a teen challenge involving laundry pods, here’s one: maybe try doing a load of laundry.”

Laundry Pod Rules to live by:

• DO NOT EAT THESE THINGS. EVER.

• Do not let children handle the laundry packets.

• Keep the liquid laundry packets sealed in their original packaging, and make sure they are locked up and out of a child’s sight and reach.

• Ensure your hands are dry before using a laundry packet/capsule, and wash and dry your hands thoroughly after each use.

• If the chemicals are swallowed or exposed to the eye, call the Manitoba Poison Centre immediately. The centre is staffed 24-7, 365 days a year. 1-855-776-4766 or 1-855-7POISON.

Joke This Week

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet pineapple pickle juice,” exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

Birthdays

Bernice Kennedy • Sandra Mellis • Glenda Gerry • August Hagen • Ken Holder • Tami Johnson