Couple married 66 years celebrating their lasting love on Valentine’s Day

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This article was published 14/02/2018 (3017 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Thrown off a chesterfield while roughhousing with friends during a dance in Winnipeg 70 years ago, Margaret Tough looked up from the floor to find Herb Lovstrom offer his hand to her.

“She was sitting on the floor and I looked down and saw this gal with beautiful blue eyes,” Herb said, to which Margaret added, “He asked me to dance, and the funny thing is he didn’t let go of my hand, so we danced again and danced again.”

Herb never let go, and after fostering a relationship during the next four years while they pursued post-secondary education, they married.

Today marks their 66th Valentine’s Day together as a married couple.

“We’ll hopefully celebrate it in good health, or as good health as we can,” Herb said at Rotary Villas at Crocus Gardens, a retirement building they relocated to last year, adding that at 88 years of age, they both “take each day as it comes along and are thankful for it.”

The couple started out their relationship slow, building a friendship within a group setting during a summer at the Winnipeg-based YMCA Canoe Club.

This was followed by their connecting as a pair over skiing later that year, with their bond only growing from there.

Margaret pursued post-secondary education in the arts, later working in ceramics as a potter, while Herb became a tool and die maker.

They relocated from Winnipeg to Brandon in 1970 so that Herb could work as plant manager for the fledgling Behlen-Wickes Company Ltd., which has since been renamed Behlen Industries LP.

Looking back, Margaret said that although they always remained close, they both had parts of their lives that remained separate from their partner, which helped them maintain a healthy level of independence over the years.

Things weren’t always easy, and raising five children can put a strain on any relationship, particularly when health problems are concerned, with one of their sons contracting polio at 28 months.

“That’s a strain on your relationship, and if you don’t help out one another it’ll come apart,” Herb said, adding that their son managed to make it through his polio battle with the support of two dedicated parents.

With Herb retiring from Behlen in the late 1980s, the couple eased into retirement, and until May of last year lived at a Wawanesa seniors building.

Then, last winter’s blizzard hit, cutting their link to Brandon, where Herb was receiving cancer care — a disconnect that convinced them to relocate to Brandon where they would be closer to the region’s medical hub.

With Herb a longtime Rotarian, Margaret said there was no other place for them to relocate than the Rotary Villas at Crocus Gardens, where they’ve been ever since.

Reflecting on their marriage, Herb said that a key to any relationship is mutual respect.

“Don’t belittle one another,” he said. “There are two types of criticism; constructive and destructive, and unfortunately there’s more of the destructive type of criticism than the constructive.”

Their liking one another also helps, Herb said with a chuckle.

On that front, he said that “love” does not adequately describe how he feels about Margaret.

One “loves” their truck, he said. “That’s the only term we have to express endearment of loyalty, honesty and respect, whereas many other languages have several words.”

The word “love” just isn’t enough, he said, adding that it “does not describe an all-encompassing emotion.”

Marriage means everything, he said, adding that it’s about giving one’s self to another person and doing anything for them.

“Would I do it again?” Herb asked with a smirk. “You’re damned right!”

» tclarke@brandonsun.com

» Twitter: @TylerClarkeMB