Budiwski chronicles addiction journey in book

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/01/2019 (2464 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

A mattress is on the floor in an otherwise empty room, and her wrists are bleeding from where she slit them after attempting to commit suicide.

Even 18 years later, this visual remains all too clear for Michelle Budiwski, now 44.

Budiwski describes that night, in which she hit rock bottom and was transported to the psychiatric unit in Thompson, as one of the darkest of her life.

The now Rivers-based author and Westman business owner details that day and her journey with addiction in her recently released book called “Butterfly Dreams.”

She’s hoping it will help other people out there who are currently struggling with an addiction.

“When you are only focused on your next high, you can’t imagine anything ever being better or different, you can’t imagine surviving it,” Budiwski said. “I want them to know that there is hope, and the families of the addicts that there is hope, that it can be done.”

Her addiction to cocaine started when she was 10 years old, stemming from childhood abuse, she said. Today, she works as director of operations at Budiwski Holdings Inc., specializing in the organization and management of startups and small businesses. She just celebrated 18 years being sober.

The book includes poetry she wrote during her struggle with cocaine. It was written to be easy to read, straightforward and to the point, she said, and should appeal to anyone who is interested in mental health, abuse, suicide awareness and addiction.

Writing the book had its challenges, she said. When she was doing the poetry during her recovery it served as therapy, but it was different writing when she was looking back at who she used to be.

“It opened up a lot of doors for me that I had closed a long time ago, and I had to kind of face those demons again,” she said.

Because of the huge stigma around addiction, it’s also difficult being transparent as a business owner in the Westman area, Budiwski said.

She’s hoping that by sharing her story, she’ll be able to help break that stigma down.

“I know that there’s a lot of other people out there like me who don’t share those stories, and I’m hoping that maybe some of them will start so that people who are still suffering can see that there is hope,” she said.

The book talks about her struggle with addiction and the time she spent in treatment. It goes on to where she starts to see there might be a life after drugs, and follows up with where she is today.

“Getting clean is hard. It’s scary,” she said. “I talk about that in my book. It’s not quitting drugs, it’s staying off of them and having to face life.”

Budiwski started writing the book early in 2018, and it was printed in December 2018 with Chrysalis Publications.

There was a book launch yesterday at the Art Gallery of Southwestern Manitoba for people to hear more about her story.

Budiwski said she is hoping to start a discussion about addiction to help others who might be struggling like she was 18 years ago.

“Even if one person who reads this feels a little bit of hope, or feels like they’re not alone in whatever they’re dealing with, then that kind of makes my recovery worthwhile.”

» mverge@brandonsun.com

» Twitter: @Melverge5