Support is a gift for those living with dementia

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This article was published 10/01/2024 (618 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

When Brenda Smith’s mother was diagnosed with dementia, she turned to the Alzheimer Society of Manitoba in Brandon for support.

“I walked in off the street; I knew it was here. And even being a nurse, I still wanted those resources from the Alzheimer’s Society, so I walked in and that’s where it all started,” said Smith.

Smith was looking to get her mom a touch — or fidget — blanket, designed to help people living with dementia.

A touch blanket has a combination of items like buttons, zippers, shoelaces and ribbons to keep minds and hands occupied.

As dementia progresses, people’s hands become more nervous and fidgety, and they get comfort from the simple, repetitive movements and sensory stimulation from the items on the blanket.

Smith said she found what she was looking for in more ways than one.

“It’s amazing, actually. Before I started working here, I had no idea how big the program was and all the supports that are out there,” Smith said.

Smith now works for the Alzheimer’s Society and is one of two regional coordinators at the Brandon office.

She and her counterpart strive to be the first link for people who either need help living with dementia or are looking for support as a caregiver of someone with the disease.

Smith wants people to call them as soon as someone notices that their mom, dad or loved one is having trouble with memory, if they’re not able to carry on conversations like they used to, or if they have become more withdrawn in their home.

“It’s about helping people cope with caring for somebody with dementia, because it can be a 24-hour job,” Smith said.

“We can give them resources like getting a meal program to help take that off their plate. Or a respite program might be helpful, and we let them know where they can access all those things. The earlier somebody can get diagnosed, get the education and the resources, the better — when it comes to quality of life.”

Dementia is the umbrella term for any brain changes that gradually get worse over time and eventually make it harder to function independently. Alzheimer’s disease is a form of dementia, for which there is no known cure. The risk of dementia increases with age, especially after 65, but it is not a normal part of aging.

Sandy Goran’s 93-year-old mother, Shirley Whyte, is in Brandon’s Fairview Personal Care Home. And while Shirley still recognizes her three daughters and her son who lives in Portugal, Goran said her mother has suffered memory loss.

“She’s safe, that’s the main thing. And we’re fortunate at the moment because Mom recognizes her three daughters and a granddaughter, although she doesn’t always have the right placement. And she doesn’t realize how old she is at the moment, but at least she still recognizes us. That will be another grief process as we go along when that changes. But for now, she recognizes us, so that’s good,” Goran said.

There are several times that loved ones will go through the grieving process, said Smith from the Alzheimer’s Society’s office in Brandon.

People will grieve when the person first shows signs of dementia, and then it becomes ongoing, losing them each time a change happens.

“You might go one day, and they don’t know you anymore. So, you grieve each loss. And then you grieve again when they pass away.

“I can relate, because my mom’s still living but I’m grieving the loss of her, because she’s not my mom anymore, you know what I mean? It’s a really tough disease,” said Smith.

That’s why, she said, the support groups and programs they offer are so important. And Goran, as she spoke about her mom, her brother and sisters, said she agreed.

The family had a support worker from the Alzheimer’s Society who Goran said was “a gift.”

“She sure was — in terms of keeping us on task, keeping us focused, and giving us information as to who we ask for programs and services, our rights and our mom’s rights. And then she helped us to stay united,” Goran said.

“The other thing that one of the support workers told us was, ‘Your mom might not remember your conversation, which day you visited, or any of those things, but she’ll retain the feeling you give her.’ So, it’s super important to be a calming and patient presence so that you can comfort them, and you can make a difference that way.

“I felt that was really powerful for me to remember that.”

During this, Alzheimer’s Awareness Month, the theme is “Support changes everything.”

There are many support groups and programs happening in Brandon over the next several months, with Minds in Motion kicking off in January.

Minds in Motion is an eight-week session that begins Jan. 25. Designed for a person with dementia and their care partner, it happens Thursday afternoons at Seniors for Seniors. There will be activities and light physical and brain exercises for the couple to do.

The in-person Care Partner support group happens the third Wednesday of the month at the Brandon office of the Alzheimer’s Society. Spouses, friends and family members are welcome to attend.

There is a virtual version — over Zoom — of the same support group. It is scheduled for the second Wednesday of the month.

For those living with dementia, there are two meetings a month. Currently the sessions are offered to men on the second and fourth Tuesday of every month.

Other than the Minds in Motion sessions, everything the Alzheimer’s Society offers, said Smith, is at no charge.

“I think it’s so important for people to have a safe space, where it’s confidential, and they can just talk about their experiences. It opens people up to different avenues, ideas and they might find other resources as well,” Smith said.

“It’s a really healthy space for people to come and just be with others going through the same thing that they’re going through.”

For more information about the Alzheimer’s Society of Manitoba’s programs offered in Brandon, call 204-729-8320 or visit https://alzheimer.mb.ca/

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