Resilience Rewired conference coming next week

Thirty years ago, Westman resident Chance Toder’s life hung in the balance.

At just 10 months old, he required open heart surgery. Then, at the age of 11, he underwent an open heart procedure.

Today he’s fine-tuning his motivational speech for a one-day conference on resilience.

That second surgery Chance had when he was 11 caused a stroke and he fell into a coma. His parents and brothers were told to brace for the worst, his mom, Jolene, said.

“When Chance went into a coma, he remained there for a very, very long time. And when he came out, he couldn’t walk or talk or even hold his head up,” she said.

“And I remember being so mad because the doctors were saying this might happen and that might happen. And I said, ‘No, that’s not enough. You don’t know who he is.’

“So, I am in awe of how far he’s come,” she said. “I never thought that one day he would be sitting in front of all of these people telling his story. It’s incredible.”

The story that Chance tells is about overcoming all the obstacles he has faced. And he’ll be sharing it next Friday during a conference called Resilience Rewired in the amphitheatre at the Keystone Centre. The day’s speakers will focus on psychology, technology and the human spirit.

“I just want to show that having a disability doesn’t push you down, it drives you up,” Chance told the Sun in a phone interview Friday.

“You can have somewhat of a normal life; it just looks a little bit different. But you can get a job or get whatever you’re striving for,” he said.

“Ever since I’ve been in a wheelchair, motivational speaking has been my dream job. I love to tell my story and inspire people.”

Chance was encouraged to share his journey by online safety expert and family friend Val Caldwell, who is also scheduled to present during the conference.

“I’m a big fan of Chance’s. He has such a wonderful message of hope and resilience,” Caldwell said.

Caldwell’s own presentation is about mental health issues that kids experience because of their attachment — and sometimes addiction — to technology, and what parents can do to build a healthy balance.

“Don’t allow kids to take devices to private spaces, including their bedrooms. Have rules in place,” Caldwell said.

“And that means parents, too. Because the reality is adults are the mirror to kids, so we want to set a good example.”

Caldwell also makes presentations to community groups, athletes and schools. Even though Manitoba schools have banned the use of cellphones, teachers are seeing negative side-effects in their classrooms, Caldwell said.

“Educators are seeing the impact of kids staying up all night, gaming and being on their devices, and it kind of falls on the educators to try to support them through that,” she said.

“And good lord, I did a presentation the other day with Grade 5 and 6 students, and probably 40 per cent of them admitted that they’re on their phones once their parents think they’re sleeping and they’re FaceTiming at two in the morning because they can’t sleep, and that’s sad.”

Caldwell said she’ll be sharing strategies on how to disable apps on kids’ phones and ways for adults to impose rules and be prepared for pushback.

“When we tell our kids no phones in bedrooms, we need to talk about the impacts on sleep and mental health and how it’s really, truly affecting us,” Caldwell said.

“Because we miss the mark when we impose a bunch of rules. Kids should understand why they are in place.”

The keynote speaker for the resilience conference is Dr. Jody Carrington, a clinical psychologist from a small rural community in central Alberta.

Even though people have never been so connected through technology with instant access to research and resources, “we’ve never been this disconnected,” Carrington said.

“For the first time in history, we’re dying faster from emotional illness than we are from physical illness,” she said.

Carrington said the constant barrage from phones, watches, iPads and laptops have already taken their toll on personal relationships and overall mental health.

People aren’t designed for this much noise, she said, adding more people are anxious and depressed, marriages are falling apart and dating is at an all-time low.

“We can’t address what we don’t acknowledge. So, unpacking all of that means we have to reverse-engineer that and realize how we got here,” Carrington said.

“Amazon, Uber and Meta control $8.49 trillion market share capitalization, so it’s a pretty big business to keep us disconnected.

“So, when we understand that, we can find some fortitude to put a phone down every once in a while, to come out to an event — like in Brandon — and look at each other,” she said.

“Nobody’s going to remember what I say on that stage, but they will remember when they saw their best friend’s mom who they haven’t seen in weeks, months or years, and be like, ‘I haven’t seen you in forever, how are you?’”

The Resilience Rewired conference is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 24 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tickets are $80 plus fees. For more information, call the Keystone Centre box office at 204-726-3500.

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