City ‘truly sorry’ for removing items from gravesites

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This article was published 11/11/2025 (183 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

The City of Brandon has apologized to the community after multiple complaints arose over how cemetery staff cleared items on gravesites last week.

A trio of women told the Sun that the sentimental items they placed on and around their children’s headstones in the Brandon Municipal Cemetery had been removed and put into a bin with items belonging to other people. The bin was unorganized and dirty, they said, with some items having broken.

“We are doing our best to be as mindful of the maintenance that needs to be done there, but we also need to celebrate our babies,” said Kelly Koshowski, 53.

Koshowski said she visits her 22-year-old son Cole’s grave every day and leaves items like hockey pucks, golf balls and his picture. His friends will also stop by and leave him a can of beer, she said.

“It’s sacred. No one’s drinking that beer, no one’s touching it. It’s home. It’s here in my home because someone wanted to give him something. It’s a gift,” she said.

The items on his grave were all removed without notice last Tuesday.

Those items are not allowed under the city’s bylaw, which came into effect in 2017. The only items allowed are flowers, if they’re placed in a vase attached to the base of the headstone.

Koshowski said in the 18 months since her son died, that bylaw hadn’t been enforced, except when family was given advance notice for fall and spring cleanup.

“The cemetery is now taking their resting spot away from us as well, and that’s not fair, because we need that,” Koshowski said while crying. “We need that as moms, we need that, and we’re being robbed of that too.”

Late last week, the city said on Facebook that it was “truly sorry for the distress caused by the removal of personal items” at the cemetery.

“We are listening and have deep compassion for everyone grieving a loved one. We understand how meaningful cemetery visits are,” the post said.

The city said it will review the bylaw ahead of next spring’s cleanup.

Until the review is done, staff “will only remove items that interfere with ongoing maintenance, pose safety concerns, or have been displaced from their intended location,” city spokesperson Merrilea Metcalf said.

April Ethelston, 45, said she and the other people who complained want the bylaw changed in a way that would allow for tokens to be placed and small lights to illuminate her 13-year-old son Ryker’s grave.

“If you have not lost a child, you have no idea what the light means, what the stone means, what a hockey medal means,” Ethelston said Friday. “I don’t think we’re asking for the world. We just want them to change the bylaws.”

Along with a review of the bylaw, the city should also pay for empathy training for the cemetery staff, as the staff regularly speak with grieving families, she said.

Ashley Gibson, 36, said she paints rocks for her 10-day-old daughter Abrielle and also places them on headstones of other children. She said while she places items on the graves, the parents and loved ones who pay visits already maintain the stones better than cemetery staff does.

“We take care of our children’s spots, and we maintain it,” Gibson said.

Brandon Mayor Jeff Fawcett said the city has been loose in enforcing the cemetery bylaw during the last few years and that there should have been better communication before staff moved in.

He said the city has spoken to cemetery staff since and will communicate with the community when adjusting the bylaw.

“It was a bit heartbreaking to hear,” Fawcett said. “But it was not done with bad intention. It was done with good intention to follow a bylaw.

“We really do apologize.”

In an email to the Sun, the city said the bylaw and current operations will be reviewed “to create a process that reflects the care and dignity families deserve when visiting their loved ones, while also ensuring a safe, well-maintained space.”

Metcalf said that review will be shared with the public. She added that new staff are still learning the process.

“We have had new staff in at the cemetery who have been learning their role, and trying to do their job in the best way by following the bylaw,” she said. “It was never their intention to be insensitive.”

The city said items were put in a bin because the storage unit was overflowing. It also thanked the people who reached out.

“We never intended to be disrespectful, and we understand how this has affected you. For that, we are deeply sorry.”

» alambert@brandonsun.com