Seventy-five years of wedded bliss

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This article was published 29/12/2020 (2083 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Putting a happy ending to a difficult year, Lois and Jock Carr are celebrating their 75th wedding anniversary today.

“I guess the luck of the Lord and a kind God that he has let us stay here,” Lois said by phone recently.

“It’s God’s will, isn’t it? We worked hard, but we were lucky we had good meals on the table and we loved to dance — we had lots of exercise.”

It has been a tough year for everyone, and the two lovebirds have been no exception.

The COVID-19 pandemic aside, Jock, 98, lost the use of his legs and relocated from the Melita home he shared with his wife since 1966 to take up residence at the Bren-Del-Win Lodge personal care home in Deloraine.

“When you’ve been together with a man for 75 years, there’s lots that you miss,” Lois said, adding that they’d enjoy television in their recliners and eating their meals together. “I could reach over and get his hand and he’d like to hold mine — I miss that.”

In the days since Jock relocated several kilometres east on Sept. 26, their daughter, Trudy, has driven Lois to see him during visiting hours every day.

They spend the afternoons together, during which they enjoy supper together along with television — namely, hockey — and FaceTime with other family who can’t be there due to COVID-19 health restrictions.

“They’re a very passionate couple,” Trudy said, adding that they still enjoy holding hands.

The couple’s passion-filled days together began more than 75 years ago, when Lois Fonger met Jock Carr at the Melita Coliseum during a Saturday night dance.

Between a phone conversation and written account, Lois recalled how their intertwined lives played out.

Jock was playing drums during the dance, and they caught each other’s eye.

“I sure liked what I saw, and apparently he liked what he saw, and we started dating and it went from there,” Lois said.

In late December 1945, while on Christmas break from her job as a permit teacher at Grand Bend School, the two decided to elope in Brandon.

Jock boarded a train in Melita and Lois boarded a train at Napinka. There was some concern at the time that Lois wouldn’t be able to get on board in Napinka because her father, who was employed by CP Rail, was working at the time. Although they caught word through an expressman that tears were shed by the father, they both made it to Brandon.

At First United Church, and with the minister’s two daughters as their witnesses, Lois and Jock got married on this day 75 years ago.

After their nuptials, the two set out to begin their shared life as farmers.

Lois joined Jock’s band as piano player, accompanying the group in their two-step and waltz old-time ˆmusic shows, and the two would become known as a couple eager to dance with one another over the years.

The family settled in a new family farm they built between Melita and Napinka in 1966.

They had six children, and while their respective parents weren’t always happy with their choice of spouse — it was believed that Jock needed a strong farm woman and that Lois should have married a doctor or lawyer — they eventually warmed up.

“Both sets of parents accepted us back in the family and as each of six children were born their acceptance became stronger,” Lois said.

In 1996, they sold the family farm to their youngest son, Pat, and semi-retired to a house in Melita, though Jock purchased and operated a gravel truck until his licence was taken away at 80.

Three of their children live in Melita, one lives in Estevan, Sask., and one lives in Silver Lake, Alta. They lost a son, Johnny, to a heart attack at age 45 in 1996.

They also have 16 grandchildren and 23 great-grandchildren.

Looking back on what they’ve accomplished during their time together, Lois said they always set out to do things their own way, “and we did.”

“They’ve been amazing role models for us to work hard, love hard and play hard and dance — always dance,” daughter Sheila said by phone recently. “They were beautiful dancers.”

Lois credits a “loving, caring family” with helping her navigate the world of late, and this includes Jock, whom she is set to visit this afternoon.

Although Trudy is poised to drive her out to Deloraine as usual, Lois is holding out hope that a bed might soon become available in Melita.

She can’t help but comment on what a shame it is the love of her life isn’t closer, but he’s well worth the trip.

Also, because of level red restrictions, today’s visitors will be limited to Trudy and Lois, with extended family joining them on video chat.

A larger celebration might take place next summer, or whenever the world opens up again.

Regardless of these setbacks, Lois said she recognizes the fortunate place they’re in, having spent 75 years and counting as husband and wife.

“We’re very lucky,” she said. “I guess, the luck of the Lord.”

» tclarke@brandonsun.com

» Twitter: @TylerClarkeMB