World Cup trolling takes to the air

You know you’ve done something very, very foolish when an airline is trolling you.

People don’t generally like airlines. Or, they’re at least apathetic to them — relying on the check-in staff, flight attendants, pilots and actual planes to get them from one place to another, preferably safe and sound and with a modicum of dignity.

The soaring price of jet fuel, a consequence of the pumpkin patch baby’s Iranian adventure, and resulting rise in fares has only made the carriers even more unpopular.

They know it. They also know they’ve still got a healthier brand, somehow, than FIFA.

Earlier this week, Air Transat launched an ad campaign comparing World Cup ticket prices with its international seat sale. “Watch Portugal, $3,870 — See Portugal, $799,” read one. “Watch England, $3,4092 — See England, $799,” winked another. You get the gist.

Coincidentally, or not, the ads have been launched as FIFA desperately tries to fill stadiums just about everywhere. Even in Canada.

As of Tuesday, nearly 3,000 tickets remained unsold for Canada’s opening match against Bosnia and Herzegovina in Toronto (data compiled by blogTO). More than 2,400 could still be purchased for the co-host’s contest with Qatar in Vancouver. Canada versus Switzerland was also yet to sell out.

Then there’s the round of 32 encounter on July 2 at BC Place. Should Canada top Group B, it will host that knock-out and face an opponent such as the Netherlands, Norway, Egypt or, intriguingly, Iran for a spot in the last 16. More than 1,000 seats are still available.

The box office trouble is even more concerning south of the border — so worrisome, it seems, that the wholly corrupted U.S. administration has reluctantly dropped the US$15,000 bond it was set to charge World Cup visitors from 50 countries, five of which have national teams taking part in the tournament.

Now, capacity venues needn’t have been a World Cup talking point. All sorts of things, from family finances to summer holidays to game-day rainstorms, can impact ticket sales. It is not alarming to see some rows of empty seats at large arenas.

Only, FIFA president Gianni Infantino made sell-outs a matter of bombast from the off, perhaps acknowledging — and not incorrectly — that an event he’d inflated to the point of farce could only be justified by the buy-in, literally, of Northern American sports fans and travelling supporters.

His natural next step was to drastically overcharge for the privilege of seeing too many games in too many places, the vast majority of which would be in a country the rest of the world has put on timeout.

“Vibes” is a term about as overplayed as this World Cup, but at this World Cup the vibes are definitely off. Where typically anticipation would be building into a thrill, we’re instead confronting a notion that to participate puts us in a state of moral suspension. Hardly an atmosphere conducive to ticket-selling.

More practically, the schedule has ballooned to a point where it’s difficult to sense that the mid-June match you’re attending has a tangible connection to the rest of the tournament.

Each game is being put forward as a sort of one-off activity. And Infantino has compared the fixture list to a series of Super Bowls kicking off up to four times each day.

That’s not only excessive; it’s also, arguably, the most blatant money-grab in the history of organized sport. And who wants to enthusiastically contribute to the debasement of international football? We might go, but we’ll go with more than a hint of a blush.

Or, we’ll simply watch on TV. At least in our living rooms and neighbourhood pubs our embarrassment can be contained. We might even have a chance to enjoy the action while planning an excursion to Lisbon or London.

Besides, the stadiums will inevitably be packed to the gills. One thing Infantino’s learned from his tiny-handed mentor is you always win — even when you lose.

In other words, start checking your cereal boxes. There might just be a World Cup ticket — or 10 — beneath those last Cheerio crumbs.

winnipegfreepress.com/jerradpeters