Another spring garage sale

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/05/2013 (4776 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

I recently read a tweet from Men’s Humour that read “Relationships are like garage sales: At a distance it looks like it could be interesting… up close it’s just a ton of s*** you don’t need!”

It’s hard to drive two blocks on any given weekend and not pass a yard sale. And even if someone’s second-hand blender is the last thing you need, it’s hard for many to fight the urge to keep driving past a lawn full of treasures, without glancing over to make sure you’re not missing anything.

Last weekend, my family spent the rainy, dreary May Long gearing up for a June 1 mega sale. Its been three years since we’ve had a garage sale, and while I look forward to the millions of dollars we’ll rake in over the course of the weekend for hardly any work, I can’t say I’m excited to have hundreds of strangers on my lawn and in my driveway.

There are four distinct types of garage salers. Which one are you?

If you’ve had a garage sale you’ve had each of these people on your property, sifting through your stuff.

Beginners

You will like them best. After all, they seem the most “normal” of all the people in your driveway. They ask lots of questions, and rarely touching anything, delicately looking at each item rather than jumping on the trampoline or pulling the cord on the lawnmower you have for sale. They will ask how much things cost, and when you give them a price they give you the exact amount. Not big on haggling, beginners are where you can make some serious money, since they will pay you whatever you’re asking for stuff.

Bargain Hunters

The “early birds” of your sale. They show up while you’re still setting up, sometimes as much as two hours before you’re even open for business. They can be seen with pen and paper, writing things down, examining items in a thorough manner, asking plenty of questions. “Does this work? Why are you selling this? And I’ll make you an offer on this” are often heard from the bargain hunter. Prepare to haggle on price. But remember what they do in Mexico; ready body language to seal the deal. If they put their hands on something, and have heard your price but still hold it, you’re in the game. When you mention your price and they put it down, ask for an offer. Chances are you can still save the deal. These people are often found driving vehicles that are already loaded with tables and chairs and ice cream pails by 8 a.m.

Regulars

You will recognize regulars by their Thermos of coffee or bottle of water. For regulars it’s all about the social experience. Regulars are more interested in being outside and meeting new people than loading their half-ton truck with deals. While they are hunters, they are traditionally looking for “one type of item.” Regulars I’ve had at my sales include shoppers looking for wine bottles, Ty Beanie Babies, and old record albums. I’ve yet to see a regular going from sale to sale looking for boxes of old National Geographic magazines.

Parents

Kids outgrow and/or wreck everything. Working parents are a combination of the other three personalities you’ll find at your garage sale. The serious shoppers come early with coffee in hand looking for specific type of toys or clothing. Normal thrifty parents are not hard to handle, should be easy to bargain with, and are appreciative when you have the stuff they want at the price they want. However if you get Westman’s only two-year-old septuplets in your driveway and they’re cranky, may God help you.

In addition to bargain hunters banging on my door three hours before the sale gets going, we have to decide what we’re going to sell.

My wife and I pulled out storage boxes, went through closets and dragged out items we hadn’t used in over a year to evaluate for the sale.

Our general rule is if you haven’t used something in the past 12 months, you should seriously consider letting it go. Except, my weepy, sentimental wife was having none of that.

First out of the box were my daughter’s tap dance shoes from four years ago. They are adorable, but new. Worth some cash I thought.

Wrong. After some tears and reminiscing, they went back into storage.

My son’s hockey stick from three years ago? Keeping it. Trip souvenirs we’d be lucky to get a quarter for? Good times. Forget it.

This was much harder than I thought. Our May Long weekend sounded like this: “Ah…remember this?” Keep it. “Oh we should use this.” Keep it. “Oh, this was the kid’s toy 10 years ago”. Good times, keep it. What will actually hit the sale? Old gift wrap, some broken egg crates and a broken pen. We’re still sorting. This is going to be a rough week.

I really hope someone shows up to take our jun…..er…….treasures.

Selling stuff isn’t as easy as it seems. With popular shows on TV that exploit the bargain hunter, like Cajun Pawn brokers, the Vegas Pawn shop and Storage Wars, it’s no wonder people are looking to score big with garage sales.

In Brandon, overzealous buyers can come knocking at your door at the crack of dawn. But when early birds don’t buy my stuff, Plan B is the “free!” sign on the item, which means “please drag away my old broken vacuum so that I won’t have to.”

Hopefully it doesn’t get to that point. After all, I’ve done my homework for next weekend’s sale. If you’re planning a spring sale this might help YOU too!

Here are the top three mistakes we can make when hosting a garage sale:

Overpricing stuff

You are not Sears. No customer will pay $20 for that DVD player from 1998, when they can get a brand-new one for $15. I’ve tried to ask $100 for a used TV or couch, but guess what? No takers.

Selling dusty, dirty, outdated, broken stuff

People won’t buy stuff that looks or feels dirty. If it is dusty, dirty, grimy, sticky, stained, wet or anything else remotely ‘gross’, clean it up — or throw it away. If it is broken — don’t even try to sell it. I always envision Mr. Fix-it buying my broken stuff. Problem is, he never shows up.

Advertising too tiny

When shoppers are driving by in moving cars — they can’t read tiny writing! Bigger is better, so stopping short of a dancing monkey, get some attention! However don’t forget to take down your giant neon billboard when your sale is over.

Well, time to go and clean, sort, and organize so I can get ready for our sale next weekend. If you see me sitting next to a box of beer empties, the discount you get is directly proportionate to how many empty bottles are in that box. The more empties I have, (hiccup) the more you save. (Hiccup) Wish me luck. And please don’t come at 5 a.m.

JOKE THIS WEEK

My wife was trying to get rid of a perfectly good couch, but despite it being outside for over a week with a sign that said “FREE” nobody was taking it. Then my teenage son thought of a plan, he put a sign “$50” on it, it was gone the next day.

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