Boom boom babies

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/09/2014 (4022 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Well, it certainly looks like we know what the “Royal Newlyweds” are up to when they’re not touring around the world shaking hands and kissing babies. It appears they’re making them. And fast.

Truly adhering to the British saying “hop to it,” Kate and William are wasting no time taking out insuran…..er……I mean adding to their beautiful family.

The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting their second child and this week was treated for severe morning sickness. She suffered from morning sickness during her first pregnancy with Prince George, who was born in July of last year.

And since he’s basically still in diapers, they can now save money by buying their baby bottoms in bulk at Costco — although it’s highly unlikely they buy their own baby stuff, let alone shop at Costco. Come to think of it, I would venture to say they have people do everything for them.

Laundry, cooking, scheduling their demanding timetable of smiling and waving and waving and smiling — it’s a tough life, I’m sure. But while they have servants and assistants at every turn, I’m sure they handled this project all on their own.

Two kids so fast. Are they going to have a big family? Could the prince be working on a good old-fashioned Canadian hockey line of five? Or are they looking to join the “million dollar family” club with a boy and a girl?

I’m sure like most parents, they just want a happy healthy toddler … kinda like George. And since the little guy missed the big ears gene from Grandpa, next to a healthy kid, that’s gotta be “up there” on the list of things we want for our new bundle of joy.

But getting back to George. The kid will not even be two years old and he’s gonna have someone else to battle for toy territory and parental affection. Does he not get just one fully pampered trip around the world to meet his servants before his territory is invaded by a sibling? Sheesh. Poor George.

I think it’s too close. But apparently you don’t. In fact, it’s rather surprising how close and how far apart people in Westman have their kids.

Not that it matters, yet somehow it’s fun and entertaining to smile at the couple who just can’t stop the baby train (like the Duggars) long enough to enjoy a Christmas without a baby in diapers. And then there’s first born and last born and the awkward 25 years separating the two. Awkward.

So, is 14 months too soon? How close together have you heard babies being born? Furthest apart?

Cheryl Hastings — 10 months apart!

Jamie Ardagh Egdell — Saw my 18-month-old boy with a new born last week. No way. Not a chance. Aunty had to occupy him the whole time to keep the new baby safe while I held him. I have no idea how moms do it.

Charlotte Grant — My first two were 14 months apart. Too close. Waited five years for the third.

Cher Morningstar Ferland — Once knew someone who had three kids all in diapers at once. How awful would that be!

Carleigh Rose Evens — My sister and I are 10 years apart.

Coralee Bohemier — Mine are 20 months apart and although some days are hectic, I have no regrets because they are the best of friends.

Brittany Walker — My boys are eight minutes apart! Pretty challenging … 14 months is nothing!

Brianne Dixon — There is 17 years between my little brother and I.

Pamela Burton — Almost six years between my two boys and I wouldn’t change it. One is in school all day and it makes life a lot easier.

Jen Banks — There is 19 years between myself and my youngest brother and there is 15 years between my oldest to youngest.

Lisa Gingras — My sister and I are 10 months apart.

Jessica Whalen — A family friend has children that are nine months apart. Got pregnant a little over a month after giving birth (who does that!). And the next baby was about six weeks premature. So the difference between the two is only nine months.

Clare Dutchyshen — Are you kidding me? My little girl is only 16 months old and I’m about to have baby number two any day now!

Mandy McCullough — My middle and oldest are 20 months apart and my youngest and middle are 18 months apart. Basically as soon as I was done breastfeeding, I got pregnant that month. I’m glad I had them all so close for many reasons.

Megan Onanda McGill — My brother and I are 11 months apart, to the day. Irish twins technically. Although we kept my parents very busy, they say they wouldn’t take it back. All done with bottles and diapers and up-in-the-night pretty much at once. And they claim my brother matured faster because we were so close in age that he wanted to do the same things I was doing.

Jessica Dawn Chartrand — My brother and I are about five-six years apart. I think that’s a better age gap because the older one won’t revert back to baby behaviour once the new baby arrives. I’ve seen potty-trained toddlers suddenly go back to diapers, pacifiers and cry for bottles after a new baby comes.

Amy Marie Flanders — I have 22 years between my first and my last.

Vicki Sturgeon — I think anything closer than two years apart is crazy!

Tammy Threlfell — Mine are 17 months apart … best choice I ever made.

Andrea Kiss — Mine are 14.5 months apart. Busy busy.

Tiffany Ann Worth — My older and younger brother are 22 years apart.

Melanie Wilson — My middle son and my youngest are 12 months apart.

Nichole Young — Mine are 17 months apart and it’s nuts. I would highly suggest not having them this age gap! Me and my sister are seven years apart. Have a friend who has a 12 year age gap in her two last kids.

Jennah Lee — A girl I know got pregnant eight weeks after her first. OMG.

Laureen Bunn — Lucky 13 months apart. Called it quits after that

Ashley Synyshyn — We have a four-year gap, then a two-minute gap. Whatever works!

Katie-Lynn Sturmer — I’m 28 and my youngest brother is five. I also have an eight-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter. It works just fine. Family is family and that’s all that matters!

That’s right, Katie. Two months, two years or two decades, it’s happy and healthy that matters. That is, unless you’re Prince Harry.

Someone please buy this guy a blanket and soother. Because the more kids Kate and William have, the more seats he gets bumped. Harry will most certainly have to return the Burger King costume he likes to wear when he’s by himself.

It’s OK, Harry. Sometimes dreams have to die. Now go to Camilla and she’ll burp you.

BIRTHDAYS

Carissa Rose Taylor

Nick Heide

Lee Orr

Stephanie Haynes

Tammy Carleton

Phillip Yanchycki

Lanny Kaylen

Kathy Rosmus

Amanda Burch

Barb Fisher

Tanya Arthurson

Alisha Dawn Bray

Deanne Zihrul Turnbull

Nikki Schick

Jennifer Matchett Blouin

Carol Green

Curtis Honke

JOKE THIS WEEK

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out.

They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 per cent for starters, explaining that even 10 per cent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 per cent pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 per cent. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch.