Motherhood changes how women spend, save, think about money

Mothers aren’t just losing income, promotions and career advancements. They’re also quietly spending their own money, absorbing more day-to-day costs and making financial sacrifices that place them at a long-term disadvantage.

We already knew about the impact of motherhood on women’s income. A 2015 study by Statistics Canada shows that mothers earn 85 cents for every dollar earned by fathers. Ten years after the birth of their first child, mothers’ earnings are still around 34.3 per cent lower than they would have been without children.

But our research also reveals that women’s relationship with money is rewired with motherhood and that having children changes their financial decisions and spending habits.

Study participants describe two competing narratives when discussing their personal finances. On the one hand, they view motherhood as a financial project they must manage independently, within the limits of budgets and cost-benefit considerations. On the other hand, they also see motherhood as a role that requires financial sacrifice, where children’s needs and well-being take priority over all financial considerations.

THE TRUE COST OF MOTHERHOOD

Motherhood comes with a price. Studies have shown that becoming a mother negatively affects women’s finances and career.

Some research suggests that among other changes, their colleagues might start to perceive their competence and commitment to their professional work less favourably. Mothers also face intensified work-life balance pressures, often leading to part-time employment.

Women are 19 times more likely than men to cite “caring for children” as the primary reason for working part-time.

But beyond the well-documented motherhood penalty — the name given by social scientists to this phenomenon of workplace disadvantages — and the impact of motherhood on women’s income, our qualitative study reveals that motherhood alters the relationship women have with money.

We interviewed mothers living in Quebec to better understand how they manage their finances after having children, and found that motherhood reshapes how mothers spend and think about money.

When asked about how they manage expenses related to their children, participants in our study said they feel they must navigate competing societal expectations that drive them to juggle two narratives — seeing the financial aspect of motherhood as, one, a project to manage, and, two, as a sacrifice to make for their children.

TAKING ON THE ROLE OF FINANCIAL STRATEGIST

Mothers, on one hand, strive to be autonomous financial managers capable of developing financial strategies and making decisions considered economically responsible for their families.

As a study participant described:

“Everything goes through my account, I manage everything. I like it that way, too. I’m a very meticulous person … I like to be in control of the budget.”

This leads them to create “baby budgets,” tracking and comparing the prices of different diaper brands in spreadsheets, or setting up savings strategies for their children’s potential future education.

This vision of themselves as independent financial managers, coupled with their desire to fully take on the financial responsibilities of having children, sometimes leads participants in our study to shoulder certain child-related expenses on their own without sharing full details with their co-parent or asking the co-parent to contribute to everyday costs such as food, clothing or family activities.

Another person in the study explained:

“I know that I buy more things for the children. I put them on my card so I know that there are more expenses that I incur as extras … But, at the same time, that’s what I like. I love shopping for them. It’s a gift for me, too. But sometimes, I find it a little annoying. I really devote myself a lot to the family, buying things for the house, the family.”

THE CULTURAL SCRIPT OF MATERNAL SELF-SACRIFICE

Mothers also see themselves as the primary caregivers responsible for making financial sacrifices for their children.

Within this narrative, participants in our study tend to believe that being a good mother means putting their children first, doing everything possible to ensure their happiness and well-being and not tracking the time and money they devote.

As another shared:

“That’s what being a good mom is all about … you can’t count that. You don’t count the time, being present, taking care of them, the activities, the clothes, everything. You don’t count the expenses, you’re the person they go to.”

This can lead mothers, for example, to put their children’s future ahead of their own, prioritizing education savings or splurging on non-essential items they believe will make their children happy over their own retirement.

This view of motherhood that normalizes financial sacrifice also appears in mothers’ reluctance to calculate the full cost of raising their children and the overall impact of these expenses on their own financial situation, as if determining the amount of money spent on a child were somehow incompatible with the maternal ideal of selfless devotion.

LONG-TERM FALLOUT OF GENDER INEQUALITY

This shift in women’s financial perspective highlights some factors behind the persistent gaps between women’s and men’s personal finances. In Canada, the gender pension gap is at about 17 per cent, meaning that “for every dollar of retirement income men receive, women get only 83 cents.”

The additional mental load carried by mothers doesn’t just cost them time and energy, it takes a real toll on their budgets, too.

In fact, financial burdens can fall unevenly within couples and between co-parents. Many participants said that they focus on shouldering the financial responsibilities of motherhood independently, no matter the impact on their finances or the contribution from the other parent.

Over time, all of this can contribute to reduced savings and lowered retirement security for mothers, reinforcing the disparities in wealth accumulation and the gender pension between men and women.

Our findings highlight that the true cost of motherhood goes beyond what meets the eye and the need for a broader recognition of the financial labour that mothers bear. We, as a society, must better support them.

» Oriane Couchoux is an assistant professor of accounting at Carleton University. Gabrielle Patry-Beaudoin is an assistant professor of marketing at Université de Sherbrooke.

» This column was originally published at The Conversation Canada: theconversation.com/ca