MORNING MESS — Weird words making people slangry

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 28/03/2019 (2565 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

“Back when a hoe was a hoe, Coke was a coke, and crack’s what you were doing when you were cracking jokes. Back when a screw was a screw, the wind was all that blew, and when you said I’m down with that, it meant you had the flu. I miss back when.”

— Tim McGraw

As we make our way around the Royal Manitoba Winter Fair, it’s all smiles and handshakes and welcome hellos after a long winter. Conversations had in every corner of the Keystone Centre as people from far and wide pack our gem of an events facility in the Wheat City.

But for city folk eavesdropping on conversations between our farming friends, some of the language can get confusing. So much of our words in the English language have a double meaning.

For example, poaching. On the farm, if someone is poaching, it’s usually trouble with hunters on your land — while in the city, I’m getting ready to eat eggs. A nipple is something used to help apply grease, while I’m thinking we’re about to feed some babies. A hoe is used as an instrument in the garden, while in the city that’s a word reserved for something quite different.

Then there’s slang, which is often neither city nor country. But is equally confusing to both, because it’s a kind of code, generally reserved for young people. Or is it? Every generation has their own language of slang words, and while some people love them, others find them completely annoying.

Well, a new survey reveals the most popular slang terms out there right now, and many of them are also the ones people simply can’t stand anymore. A new survey finds that bae is the most commonly used slang term, followed by SMH (shaking my head) and lit.

On the flipside, GOAT (greatest of all time) is the most annoying slang term, followed by bae and hangry.

I will attempt to make one run-on sentence about the Winter Fair with all 10 of the most commonly used slang terms, and then will reveal all 10 of the most annoying and their meaning.

Here we go:

Me and my bae took the fam to the RMWF because we were thirsty for an event many say was the GOAT, but my sugar got low, I got hangry, SMH, and trying to keep it 100, we got lit Gucci eats with loads of bacon that were absolutely on fire, and ate so much, my bae and fam just watched in disgust as I chowed down the delights!

I used all 10 and used two of them twice! Double points! The official top 10 most annoying slang terms for 2019 are GOAT (Greatest of all time), bae (short for baby, a term of endearment for someone you love), hangry (the combination of hungry and angry — diabetics know too well what this is like when blood sugar gets low, you get stressed and there is no food), Gucci (super fancy), ghost (to avoid someone until they get the picture something is not right and contact you), fleek (on point, near perfect), stussy (nice clothing that kids want because it’s on the line between preppy or fancy, and street), TFW (that feeling when is a term used to start a random sentence that makes a direct correlation to something you can identify with based on past experience), throw shade (overshadow someone on purpose to their face, not behind their back), and SMH (shake my head, as in no or in disgust.)

Now, while it may be perfectly OK for some people to use certain slang words, there seems to be some debate over just who those people are. In fact, while the majority of folks think that those over the age of 43 are too old to use slang, 20 per cent actually think it’s not OK for those over the age of 25. And of course, there are do’s and don’ts when it comes to where slang is appropriate. For example, 37 per cent of people say it’s never acceptable to use slang at work. Along those lines, 55 per cent of people are against using “lol” in an email to their boss, while close to half think it’s also bad to use it in an email to a co-worker. We asked Westman;

• Ken — What a ridiculous poll. Slang terms are so broad and common it would be almost impossible for anyone to completely stop using them.

• Susanne — No slang ever. The more you speak it the less you remember proper English as you get older. It’s a hard habit to break when it’s time to be professional and write emails. I’m kicking myself for talking the way I did when I was young.

• Suzie — Say what you like, but when at a place of business or where you work, act like a professional. I hate being talked to like hood in the house.

• Nancy — Slang all day every day no matter your age.

• Kristine — My daughter keeps telling me to stop using slang.

• Marilyn — By the time you’re 25, you may be married and have children. Time to start acting like an adult and setting a good example for your children.

• Christian — GOAT … greatest of all time. The goat is where it’s at!

• Glenda — Can I add awesome to the list, too! I am so sick of that word.

• Alice — Bae literally translated in Danish is poop. Ugh can’t stand when people use it. Just makes me laugh!

• Melissa — These examples are not even words nor English.

• Leanne — Bae? For the love of all things, just add the B! It’s just one syllable!

• Shauna — Bae is the worst.

• Heather — Literally … I literally can’t stand literally! Also, “at the end of the day.”

• Taylor — I’m 21 and I have no clue what the majority of these mean other than their literal meaning. A goat is an animal — what else could that mean?

Oh Taylor, you make me feel so young. I remember using LOL and people older than me not knowing what it meant. I remember getting asked “what is Lull?” Oh yes, a time before slang. When going to the Winter Fair was just that. A coke was a coke, and the wind was all that blew, as Tim said. And prairie oysters just left you scratching your head … wondering how “seafood” could magically appear on the open prairie.

JOKE THIS WEEK

A teacher was having trouble teaching math to one little boy. So she said, “if you reached in your right pocket and found a loonie, and you reached in your left pocket and found a toonie, what would you have?”

“Somebody else’s pants.”

BIRTHDAYS

Cody Nolan • Darlene Twerdochlib • Ron Kreshewski • Rony Hansley Bot • Jaryd Hajnrych • RoseAnn Skipper • Lesley Mead • Kristiana MacKenzie • Jena Spraggs